South Park: The Stick of Truth Review

The animated series South Park is known by a huge number of people all over the world. And it's absolutely not necessary to watch it, love it, or even know the plot of a single episode. Time and again, the show's creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, have found themselves embroiled in various scandals because of their very crude and sometimes disgusting satire. These two guys aren't afraid of anything, there are no boundaries for them, and that's why they've mocked almost everything—and at a level no one else dared to try. And that brought them fame.

This is the main advantage of South Park, but it's also its main drawback. Not everyone can laugh at the fact that aliens shoved a probe right up a little boy's butt. A fat boy's butt. And not only did he not die from such an operation, but he also learned to pull this thing out at the right moment. Anal probing is featured in many scenes in the game, so you'll have plenty of chances to enjoy this wonderful act.

As promised by the creators, the game turned out to be like one long episode of the cartoon. They wanted to do the same with the feature-length movie, but it ended up being terribly unfunny and boring. This time, Parker and Stone managed to accomplish their task.

The main character is a new boy whose family has just moved to the town of South Park. He is silent, but we are not told why. There’s no real difference between cutscenes and gameplay—they transition smoothly into each other, creating the illusion of watching an animated series. As we move through painfully familiar houses, streets, and other locations, we rummage through everything that can be opened. You can only open drawers, bags, and similar items with yellow handles. Although, you don’t really need to do this, since there are always plenty of items to sell, and not much to buy. Everything you need can be easily looted from enemies, the rest can be sold, and with the change you can buy tacos (revives you in battle) or pastries/rolls/sugar/chips (restore health).

All battles begin with you hitting the enemy or the enemy hitting you. Then a turn-based combat mode opens up, similar to the style of Japanese role-playing games. If you struck the enemy to start the battle, you get to take the first turn. At first glance, nothing special seems to be happening here, but everything changes once you try to perform any action. The entire combat system in South Park: The Stick of Truth is built around QTEs. If you choose a simple attack—click at the right moment with the left mouse button for a series of light blows, or the right button for a single powerful one. If you choose a skill, read the description, then press WASD, F, G, or mouse buttons. Each ability has its own QTE combination, so at first they constantly get mixed up in your head, which means you don’t always use them to full effect, or sometimes not at all.

Otherwise, everything is simple: once per turn you can use a potion and perform an action (either an attack, a shot, or a spell). Yes, there’s magic here too. Only the local Dragonborn doesn’t shout spells, but releases gas at the enemies. But remember: never fart on a man’s balls. To block, you need to press the right mouse button at the right moment, but the damage will never be completely blocked.

You always have one companion with you. At first, it’s Butters, and gradually the list expands. But here’s something strange: if you choose the “Change Buddy” action in battle, you have to pick who to remove from the battlefield, even though there’s always only one option. Apparently, the developers originally planned to let the player take two companions into the team, but for some reason abandoned the idea—which is a shame. Battles gradually become more and more boring. At least you can complete certain quests that allow you to avoid simple fights once a day (there are only 3 days in the story). Call for help, for example, from Mr. Hankey or Jesus, and they’ll deal with all the enemies for you. The methods are different: the first is rather gross, while the second is brutal and violent. There are other helpers too, though they’re not as fun.

But in reality, none of this really matters. The most important thing in South Park: The Stick of Truth is the humor. It’s everywhere, and with each new level it only ramps up. If it all starts with innocent fights, jokes about the name Douchebag, and drug addicts selling their stuff at the coffee shop, it ends with an attack by Nazi zombie fetuses resurrected after an abortion, a journey through Mr. Slave’s rectum, and (in the reviewer’s opinion) the harshest mocking of Canada in the show’s history. Stone and Parker don’t have much love for this country, but this time the joke turned out so brilliant that no one will be able to hold back their laughter—especially old-school fans.

You’ll get the maximum dose of humor and laughter only if you’re a true fan of the show. That means, to understand all the references to the original, you need to have watched all 17 seasons at least once—or better, a couple of times so you don’t forget the details. Here you’ll find Chinpokomon collecting, ManBearPig hunting, a battle with Underpants Gnomes, and, of course, a meeting with Terrance and Phillip. Yes, they’ll teach you a special way of farting.

The main storyline helps to fully reveal the game’s comedic and satirical potential. It behaves completely unpredictably, mixing several plots together and creating situations in which it’s simply impossible not to laugh. Side quests also add interest and humor, although unfortunately, not all of them are equal in quality. One quest turns into a whole chain of exciting missions with a final battle against a strong boss, while another just lets you visit Mr. Mackey’s storage room, which has absolutely nothing interesting in it.

The out-of-combat gameplay is also unusual. It feels a bit like a quest game. First, in some missions you’ll have to solve a mini-puzzle to figure out how to get from point A to point B. Second, you can get rid of many enemies without fighting them. In one place, you can start a fire; in another, use electricity; and elsewhere, Kenny will show off his boobs. Beauty is a deadly force. The further you progress in the story, the more abilities you’ll get: you’ll unlock teleportation and the ability to change size. But ways to kill enemies will also become more complicated—you’ll have to figure out which combination of actions to perform and when to wipe out an entire enemy team at once.

The special thing about South Park: The Stick of Truth is that it’s very difficult to talk about this game without spoiling the experience. Sometimes the player will be surprised, other times they’ll laugh, and sometimes they’ll be outright shocked. But it’s worth mentioning the classes—there are four of them. The Warrior hits one enemy but deals damage to everyone, the Mage does the same but more evenly, the Thief deals huge single-target damage, and the Jew… The Jew is unique. He deals both single-target and area damage, but his damage is weak; however, he applies a variety of negative effects: stun, bleeding, nausea, rage, and more. There are many in the game, including burning, freezing, shock, and others.

Each class has its own set of items that are automatically given at certain levels. If you complete side quests, by the time you receive them, they’re already completely useless. Still, they highlight your character’s style. For example, the Jew’s sets increase survivability and damage under negative effects. The other items don’t really emphasize unique style or abilities (you won’t be able to max out everything, so choose carefully). On the other hand, your appearance changes constantly—every 10 minutes, you’ll have a completely new character. If, of course, you want it that way. And each time, it gets funnier and funnier. Don’t forget to get plastic surgery.

Overall, South Park: The Stick of Truth is a fantastic game for fans of the series. At the same time, someone else might not even think about playing it, since everyone knows exactly what kind of humor to expect. Some consider these jokes terrible and immoral, while others can laugh at them and see the cynical satire behind it all. Even the game’s length is perfect, though some might find it short. But you need to complete all the side quests. Remove 2-3 of them or cut a couple from the main storyline, and you’ll be left with a feeling of incompleteness, as if you were given a demo version. And yet, the gameplay would only be an hour shorter. On the other hand, add two more hours of game time and South Park: The Stick of Truth would turn into a dragged-out game whose flaws start to stand out, and the jokes would seem repetitive and monotonous.

South Park: The Stick of Truth is an RPG that you can treat in different ways: either love it or pass it by—which is exactly what I recommend to anyone who doesn’t like the animated series.